screwed

screwed.screwed.screwed

The camp was far from exciting.Did not want to run for the Exco Election though I wanted to at the start of the camp. One reason that I really shouldn't say coz it hurts.But thats not the only reason.Another reason is because its really not worth it.So much hard work for 2 miserable,pathetic leadership pts. I know I am one who cannot be committed to all these heavy workload.
But some seniors nominated me for the eclection thought I insisted that I did not want to run for Exco. In the end I had to speak on stage during the election. I decided to deliberately screw it up. Pleaded with everyone not to vote for me (for those who intended to).And yes.Everyone spoke so well for at least 3 mins. They really wanted to get into Exco. Yet I screwed mine up.Crapped for less than a min. Wasn't the least enthusiastic at all.Everyone saw that.Even the teachers.As expected I didn't get elected.I was relieved to learn of that.Am I sick or what.I dunno.No one would be happy if they got voted out.But I was.I think I am such a loser. Fear of challenges and letting that stupid reason affect me so greatly.Not that I regret screwing up my speech.I am not regreting it.Not yet.So now I am just a member.My CCA record will be so pathetic.Not that I want it to.Beiying has been asking me to join hockey. Now I think I will.Selection is in August and I really do not have much time to train though they say the girls' hockey team is lousy and everyone there are just beginners.But I dun think I will get into the team anyway. Many will not.But wells I'll just train "hard" and we will see when the time comes.

Everything is in such a mess.