Do I have depression or what.

I feel down half the time. And when I'm upset, I eat alot (even when I am not the least bit hungry). And when I eat so much I feel so guilty, the mental torture is tormenting. Its a vicious cycle.


Sigh.

Feeling down again. Chem, other tests, project and essay deadlines. Upcoming exams. Drive me nuts. sigh.

Amanda's eat-sleep-goong lifestyle is like HOWNICE PLEASE!?

I can't believe my sis bought the Goong dvd. Its such a major distraction please.

And I spent the whole afternoon shopping with my mum and sis. Supposed to be out with Ally but cos I thought I had TQ publicity stuff on, I cancelled the OUTING. How sad. And shopping wasn't too fruitful I only got a top despite trying on so many others. I can't fit into an xs now when I used to be able to sigh. As if I'm not down enough cos of Chemistry. Which reminds me, WHY ON EARTH WAS I SHOPPING WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CATCHING UP FOR CHEM?!

Nuff said. BYE.

Field trip today was not bad. It was quite fun! Go to www.ourdailygossips.blogspot.com to read more abt it. haha. Now that I have this blog and THE OTHER shared blog, I don't know where I should blog, but this will be maintained, for the sake of ardent fans of this cool little blog of mine (if there even are, in the first place.haha).

Ok I'm v tired I'll keep this entry short and GOODNIGHT!

I want to watch Goong/Princess Hours/ whatever it may be called so bad. SO SO BAD. At least, its sth to look forward to every evening. I'm gonna borrow the vcd once the tests are over.

Its so fairy tale and all, and its obviouslyso unrealistic, but I still like it all the same. Since we hardly or nv see such happyendings in real life, such shows more than make up for it haha!

And it certainly does help that the cast is beautiful. Yes Shin, and the other guy I dunno whats his name in the show haha I NEED THE VCD SO BAD, cos I miss the show on some days when sch ends late.

My motivation is Goong tmr. Then again, its two whole freaking days before it airs on Mon again blah.

Almost everyday I think about it and get all stressed and upset and depressed. It means quite a bit to me. For now at least. Then again, a few mths down the road, I wouldn't be too sure if thats what I want after all. Argh. Its ironic, isn't it?

I'm not really enjoying sch alot. Maybe its partly cos of this. Maybe its my Chemistry, which I think is in a wreck. Maybe its because I dun have enough friends. To make my Uni life nicer and all. But I'm still thankful for the very few friends I have ard in sch. They make it more bearable at least. Yet, we all feel this same way, so down and all, and we start sigh-ing tgt. Knowing alot of people in sch does not equate to having alot of friends. Those hi-bye pple that we see ard in sch, we probably might not see them again after graduation. Sad, but true.

I was whining and complaining to Ally girl over a couple of sms-es this morning, I couldn't help but complain to her abt all these stuff. sigh. Someone shld just make me stop sighing, and convince me that sch isn't that bad, and things might just get better. Maybe, I should just learn not to be so uptight. Like what Ally and my mum said.


And the workload is quite crazy.

Everyone's saying its not too bad, its not too bad. I certainly hope so.

On a lighter note, the mealworms were fun and exiciting to deal with today during General Physiology practical. They squiggle and twirl and jump. How cool is that. I felt quite brave eh. Thats sch today.Need I say more?



Have u any raisins? No? How bout a date?

Stats test was pretty challenging. To me at least. Oh sigh.

I laughed at those cheesy pick-up lines that were pasted on one of the pillars in the canteen. It was hilarious shit, like totally.

After school today it was off to Island Creamery again this time with Petrina. Pulut Hitam tasted so red-beany and coconutty, but the teh-tarik ice cream was good, albeit milky. Nuttella wasn't too special.
We wanted Lana cakes, but didn't noe where the place is exactly, so I guess we'll just have them some other day.

Vivo City after that, where we met up with Kelly Elaine and Bao. Got a pathetic miserable top, thats all. Yes sigh. There really isn't alot of stuff at Vivo City actually. I mean, there're lotsa shops, but its only those few places we go to. So yeah.

SIGH.

Eventually, it might be back to square one. Despite the anticipation of everything. Those trashy media channels, to which we become slaves to. We (I) thought we (I) might have seen a little tinge of hope. I begin to see no excitement no nothing. No, its not that.

Yes, back to square. Then again, I could tell myself that maybe it'd be all good and fresh. Not so nice perhaps if we might look at it from the other side. Yet everything falls nicely for the sole individual,maybe the second. And feel better about it. Ha, the power of delusion. Wrap urself up with the blanket of delusion and forget all others. It'd be so very good. And then, yet again, blame those media channels again. Its a vicious cycle. That might never end.

But we still choose to believe. How very strange, isn't it?

The field trip wasn't all that interesting, but it wasn't all that bad as well. The mangrove tour was the nicest. Sadly, the zoom function of my camera had to die on me today of all days, and I wasn't able to zoom into the midskippers, crabs and other creatures. Annoying shit.

Petrina: there weren't any leeches. aren't u glad?heh.

I can't believe she went on and on last night about how leeches can jump onto us and suck our bloods and we wont be able to pull it off blah blah blah haha it was really quite funny and so off while we were discussing about what to bring for field trip.

Anyway, Pasir Ris isn't that far actually, despite oversleeping ( I wouldn't have woken up if not for Petrina's msg) and leaving home only at 715 I think, I still managed to reach there on time at 8 ha.

Lunch with the Pet and Bao and came home and slept like a pig. I sleep too much I eat too much. I'M SUCHA TURN OFF.

Thats all I guess.

Ohyar I change my tagboard to some cbox thing cos there were some problems with it earlier on.

Istillcraveforhoneyclovercamomile

The world's so small, chipmunk and the man actually are friends. Maybe, birds of the same feathers flock together.

My Mum and sis have been out shopping since early afternoon, while I just got home from tuition. How depressing is that tell me.

This whole week has been wierd, and like what Kelly said, this whole week hasn't been at all good, somehow we three feel down, or maybe, its only me and Kelly the two of us la.

Island Creamery Strawberry sorbet today before tuition haha, bumped into good ole Yitshan at Serene Centre with some random guy haha no la just her friend.

I'm gonna try their teh tarik and pulut hitam ice cream one day. A flavour a week, maybe.

But I'm still head over heels with the Honey clover with camomile leaves ice cream from Haato. Buy me that and I prob will feel better and more cheer-ed up.

So depressed, down, and upset, I don't know why, maybe its the Stats test next week, and the Chem test thats coming up as well. Its just so horrid the feeling, I've been sighing and hai-ing alot this week (Read: Pet, u aren't the only one, just for different reasons maybe).

I realised it started on Monday when Prof Kwong told us abt that depressing article abt the not-so-bright future of Life Science Grads, and really, a phD is needed to get a decent job in the Life Science field. yes, let us all Life Science majors SIGH.


phD? I'd be glad to be able to do Honours.


I wanna earn alot of money u know?

Sucha down week, but next wk is not gonna get any better, and the following week as well cos there's the Chemistry test. And I've been almost lost in Chemistry since day 1.


I wanna reach that far one day, just like them. I hope.

Elaine said that I eat alot haha. yesterday she implied that (the lor mee?) and today as well (the Dily's PILE of rice). haha
MAYBE I REALLY SHLD STOP BEING SUCHA GLUTTON! Sucha turn off haha.

Its funny how come I'm the only one who finishes my food all the time, whereas Elaine and Kelly they dun.

That aside, its quite fun and entertaning to have them ard, cos Uni life would definitely be a bore without them. Laughing at random stuffs esp ELAINE, (READ: THE MAN), and lotsa other stuffs. I realised, there has nv been a day, so far, without us laughing our heads off something. There's always something to laugh at it seems.

Somehow, Elaine often makes me laugh when I'm chewing on sth or drinking, so much so that I've to try VERY HARD not to choke or spit my food out at them HA.


I LIKE STRAWBERRY CRANBERRY MANGO ICE CREAM YOGHURT!

PETRINA U'RE HAVING SO MUCH FUN SHOPPING LA!!!!

I feel dizzy and my stomach feels funny. I think its the stats. I'm so lazy, Jason is helping me solve a stats qs now, and here I am using Bao's laptop to blog. sigh.

Its so quiet here in the library (duh), and everyone seems to be mugging v hard.

OK. back to stats. BYE.

Now citrus is a taboo word. At least thats what I think, cos the moment I said the word citrus, a passing bird poo-ed onto my arm. yes so gross. argh. Elaine was nice to help me wipe the shit off, haha but she held the tissue a meter away from her.haha. After washing my arm with soap I still felt so disgusted I kept cleaning my arm with tissue (courtesy of Kelly), it turned so red my skin almost came off. That was an exaggeration, but yeah, u get the drift haha. GROSS. Nigel's gonna buy 4D with my birthday digits haha.

OK, Princess Hours now haha and ANTM tonight. Motivate me please.
I ate alot of gummy bears today. Tha was so random.

The haze is getting worse, it gives me headaches, and makes me dizzy. I just had a panadol. sigh.
No distinct skyline, so fogged up, I can barely make out whats beyond the fog.

Town this morning and afternoon, but I had so many things to settle, there wasn't time for my Haato ice-cream from Wheelock. The Honey clover with camomile is just so outtatheworld. haha.
Bumped into Raphael today, it was nice seeing him again, the last time I BUMPED into him was in town also, a few mths back. And though he lives near me, I've never once seen him at the train station before. This yr, that is. haha

Tuition after that. With my headache and grogginess, it wasn't all too good.

Kate Hudson is so pretty. I feel like a troll.

Its Mid-Autumn today. A good reason to eat EVEN more moon cakes. I'm sucha glutton.
I have this nagging fear in me that one day, my other half would get very turned off by me cos I eat alot. haha.
So I asked Pon today if he would feel turned off if he ever had a gf who eats like me and polishes off her plate even when he the guy himself doesnt, and he said that he wouldn't (or most guys wouldn't) bother about such a trivial matters haha. PHEW.

Today was Prof Ip's lecture, and it was good, I enjoyed it.
I like the ice cream yoghurt outside LT27, but only when its mango, strawberry and cranberries mixed together. It makes me happy. And Elaine, and Kelly as well. HA!


Suddenly, its like back to JC days, sitting in the cafe (canteen), people-watching, and talking (albeit gossiping and bitching). Just maybe, slightly better. Then again, maybe only today.

Tuition tmr AGAIN.

Ohya, I'm back to using TAGBOARD. =))